Posted by jack in portal.cgkq.com
Ok, a little back story. I live with my mother, my brother and his preggo wife just moved in temporarily. We have a 3 bedroom which I paid the deposit (900) for and paid the movers (600) and almost everything in the apartment is mine, all of the furniture, pots, pans, dishes, pictures, etc. I contribute about 300 a month in groceries but I haven't worked since I was 32 weeks preggo. I was working in retail. I have been a full-time students for about a year now also. My son is 4 months old, the father is not involved at all and child support still hasn't done anything.
Anyway, I take care of my son all the time except for 2 or 3 evenings a week, about 3 hours each time. I'm off school for two weeks right now so I'm never gone for more then 30 minutes on teh rare occasion I have to go to the store or something. I almost never leave the house. 90% of teh time I ask her to watch him is when he's already asleep and I am not leaving, like when I take a shower (about twice a week) or need to eat (about once a day). I cook, I clean when I can. Both me and my son are sick. I've had a fever and coughing and sinus pain, headaches, etc. I have not gotten more then 3 hours of sleep at a time since my son was born and I have gotten a total of maybe 10 hours of sleep the past 4 nights because of us both being sick. I have also lost a ton of weight! and now I'm underweight and it's starting to affect my milk supply, energy levels, mood. Well, I asked my mother (who only works a couple of days a week) if she could take our cat to the vet today, his kidneys are failing and he has to get fluid treatments every other day. She said no. I aske her why, she said because she doesn't feel good. Thing is, she's fine, she's just being lazy and sitting on the couch with my SIL watching TV. She's not sick. She just doesn't want to. I know my mother well enough to know that she's just being a lazy *****. Well she walked in the kitchen a few mintues later and I asked her, "whats it going to take? For me to pass out?" She just rolled her eyes at me and wlaked away. Problem is that I'm not joking and I feel like as much as I do for her and contribute to the household it wouldn't kill her to drive the ******* cat to the fuckign vet once!!!!
I know this is long but I'm just at my wits end!
Do you think I have a right to be upset? Everytime I see my dr.. or LC they always tell em I need to ask family for help and get some rest, blah blah blah. Problem is I can't rely on my family at all, even when my health is failing.
I'm so jealous of single moms whose families wil help them. You have every reason to be upset I would be fuming, i would stop giving so much to everyone and just concentrate on you and your son.
If your milk supply is being affected you prob need to start giving your son the bottle,so he can get all the vitamins and minerals he needs to get better, you will prob find he will sleep longer too. As for your mum, well I cannot understand that at all, I mean for god sake your her child, she should want to do anything for you to help you out, I mean after all she is living with you, not you with her.Try to take care of yourself, you have a little one that depends on you, maybe even get a friend to help out, well I hope all works out for you, take care.you have every right to be upset
your not being appreciated, you're being taken for granted when right now you should be getting all the rest you can get.
If oyu mother can't appreciate that oyu are sick, a student, work and have to look after a new born than maybe she doesn't sppreciate you enough and shouldn't be living wiht you if she is acting like this
you are being taken for granted and have to make clear to her she needs to pull her own weight coz u are pulling more than you can handle
good luck, congradulations on your baby, sounds like oyu really need some sleep and something to eat so focus on that and ur baby for nowyes i would be pissed someone has to help u sometime i mean for gods sake u do everything and ur sick on top of that god ur family needs to get off their butt and help uBottom line it's your furniture and since you paid the deposit and the rent it makes it your house. Throw her out.
I hate to say it but your mother is a lazy freeloader.
I feel for you. Do you have a friend who might want to sit for the night?Kick them out and apply for assistance you might be able to get free daycare for when you need to attend school. It's only going to get worse with the arrival of your brothers baby.I'd inform everyone involved in the household, that they live there to, you're not there to be their maid, caregiver, and whatever else they need. You provide alot it seems, and everyone else is contributing piss all to the cause. I would say; "Pitch in, or get out."I would stop cooking for them, stop paying for their groceries. Stop enabling them.
You totally have a right to be upset.I really feel for you. I know the exact meaning of sleepless nights..You definitely have the rights to be upset but just don't keep those angers inside you, it will make your situation worse. Just talk to your mom or take some action which will clear off your mind and soothe you a little. You really need someone who can baby sit for sometime so that you can get some sleep. Things get worse when you don't get enough sleep.
You have some friends with small baby you can make some arrangements with her that some days you will look after her baby and the other days she will take care of yours and that way you can get some rest and take your cat to vet etc.
When you are really very irritated and agitated, just close your eyes and take long breaths for some time and try not to think any bad things. It might help. Take care!
you have every right to be so pissed. Kick them out! You are the one doing all the work anyway. You are a single mom, there is help out there. Try applying for WIC, food stamps to help offset their contributions (if any).my goodness, you poor thing! I cannot imagine how bad that must be for you. If you have some friends that can help you that would be good. It sounds like you need to kick your "house guests" out. It seems to be putting more stress on you and ur baby. I would suggest if you dont have a friend that can help you out try and find a sitter for your baby. If you cannot afford it apply for assistance. In your case I think you deserve all the help you can get. So, yes, you totally have the right to be upset. At all of them.Honey, if it's your place, kick them all the hell out! Your life will be better for it. We may not get to choose our families, but we sure can cut the louses out of our lives!Stop letting your family freeload off you. Stand up for yourself and tell them to either help out or get the hell out. It sounds like they need you way more then you need them. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but the bottom line is that you only need to look out for you and your baby. Best of luck you!Taking a shower twice a week & eating once a day is NOT ok! I recently was sick w/ my 4 1/2 month old & almost lost my milk supply due to lack of nutrition & sleep. Believe me, it takes a lot of work, stress & emotion to get your milk supply back up IF your able to at all. Your son comes before anyone & he needs you to be healthy. Do you have any friends you can rely on or live w/? What about looking for a 1 or 2 bedroom low income apartment & get on WIC for awhile? I'm a single breast feeding mom that works 30 hrs a week & I make ends meet but you better believe I take advantage of any help I can get from the State/Government....at least until I'm not breastfeeding anymore & can go back to work full time when he's a little older.
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